Growing Up and Growing Older

Going home is so refreshing. The older I get the more I appreciate a) escaping from the reality of everyday life and b) spending time with my family in my home. I look back over the past few years of early adulthood and think of how much of life has changed. Some things that seemed like mainstays in my childhood are now gone- primarily my dad, the ramblings of my grandfather who was a Baptist preacher, and the thought that home and family would always be the same no matter how much time passed.

I had a sad sort of realization when I went home. The world of my childhood is slipping away. My grandparents are all in their late 80's, and when they are gone my family will never be the same again. I won't be able to run next door to Maw Maw's house for a coke and hot biscuits or the words of affirmation from the sweetest little lady you would ever meet. Christmas Eves at her house with the whole Shadburn clan gathered together will be a thing of the past and who knows when the family will all be together again. My aunt and uncle, both who are in failing health, are moving across the county to be closer to their son and his business. The Shadburn clan has always been more primitive than my mom's side of the family. The Bristers live all across the country, and we haven't been in the same room with each other since I was 11. The Shadburn's love being together because we live clumped together for the most part.

I'm growing up, and the spry adults of my childhood are growing older. My family seems to be growing larger and smaller at the same time. Many of the people, homes, and traditions of my early years are now in their twilight years, and that's all a little scary and sad. But the exciting part is knowing that I'll have my own family one day and the cycle will repeat itself all over again. Life can be so sad and beautiful all at the same time.

Youth specialties

I haven't told you anything about recruiting at Youth specialties yet. It was long and crazy but really good. Working a booth at a conference like that is nothing like attending a conference like that. I would much rather be an attendee, but that costs major moolah.

Highlights of the trip include:

1. Seeing people from all four summers of camp. I seriously lost count of how many staffers, coordinators, and youth ministers I reconnected with. There were also lots of familiar faces from my days on the youth ministry circuit in Mississippi.
2. Hanging out with Kristen Richardson. I'm her newest fan. We were the only girls on the trip, and we got to stay at the posh Omni Hotel. It was a blast.
3. Hearing Tony Jones talk about theology. Tony is a big voice within Emergent. He's currently getting his Ph. d. In theology at Princeton. He talks a lot about practical theology, and not being a huge fan of any of the theology classes I've had thus far, I can honestly say there is no one who I would rather hear talk about the subject. He super academic and very practical at the same time. He's got two books out thus far but they are both more about youth ministry than theology. I expect to see more from him as soon as he can finish his degree.
4. Hanging out with Toni Crowder. I told myself before I left for the trip that I would make a special effort to hang out with the David Crowder Band. (In case you don't know, they are the worship band at my church, the best church in world, University Baptist in Waco.) I helped her set up her table and sell some CD's and shirts. She's a fun gal.
5. Experiencing Crowder Mania. Yes, this summer taught me that these guys were more popular than I knew, but nothing prepared me for what I experienced at Youth specialties. You would think David Crowder was like Elvis Presley or something. I couldn't tell if people were really worshipping or freaking out because it was The David Crowder Band. They sang the same songs and carried themselves the same way as they would on any Sunday at UBC. The crowd went nuts when these guys came on stage. Cademon's sang right before them, and the audience response was nothing compared to Crowder's. It was a surreal experience for me. Maybe people just don't know what to do when they hear praise and worship songs that are actually good from a musical standpoint. Oops, did I just say that?

Eloquence and the Lack Thereof

When I read other people's blogs, sometimes I get really depressed because I lack their eloquence and expansive vocabulary. At times this makes me not want to blog at all, and then I think about how this whole thing really isn't about who's eloquent or insightful or who's not. It's about me finding my voice, and learning about myself by expressing my thoughts and feelings in words. It's about me being me and embracing who I am and not feeling guilty or ashamed that I don't measure up to others.

Until Next Week...

I'm leaving bright and early in the morning for Youth Specialties in Atlanta. I'll be recruiting for Truett with Josh and our friends Kristen and Cliff. It should be a really fun weekend.

Just so everyone knows, I had another beautiful day today courtesy of University Baptist Church and all the wonderful folks there. Tonight at mass, it really did feel like home. I know more people now and people are getting to know me. It's a great feeling. Josh and I had lunch with Kyle and Ben today to discuss helping out with Sunday mornings next semester. My crush on this church maybe moving to an infatuation or even something more serious. We'll see. I read back through my my blogs and it does seem like all the good things that are happening in Waco have something to do with UBC. I feel blessed to be a part of it.

I'll get back to Waco late Monday night. On Tuesday morning I'll drive to Mississippi for Thanksgiving, so you probably won't hear from me for a while. Until then, here's to you friends and strangers. May your days be filled with joy and laughter from time spent with your friends, your family and your God.

Oh Happy Day...

My 25th birthday was the best one on record. No big surprises or huge gifts, just time spent with some really incredible people- some whom I have known for what seems like forever and love deeply and others who are still strangers on some levels but who are making my heart grow so that I can hold even more love for them. I know that sounds overly cheesy and sappy and sentimental, but it’s the honest truth.

You see, I really didn’t have a birthday party or anything. For a long time I had wanted for all the Truett kids at UBC and our staff to have dinner together, and yesterday was the only day it worked out for us to do that. Josh offered up his house for a meeting place, and I spent all day yesterday making soup in his kitchen. I scorched the potato soup and blew up Drew’s blender making the tomato basil, but other than that cooking was fun. People showed up at 6:30, and we had a great time.

After people left, Kelly stopped by and she and Josh and I hung out in the parlor. I told them that it was the most beautiful day I have ever had in the rootless and transient town of Waco, TX. Kelly expressed that she could tell that this night was really good for me because my whole demeanor had changed. For a night, I reconnected with one of my favorite parts of who I am. It had almost been tragically forgotten. It was like I was back in college planning something great for all the Laguna girls. Being the president of Laguna was probably the one thing that I know I loved doing more than any other, and it’s the one thing that I’m pretty sure I was good at. At this point in my life I don’t aspire to one day be a sorority president again, but it’s always been about more than that.

Last night I was able to put into words a passion I have held for a long time. I really love creating spaces and times where people whom I love can really have a sense of belonging. Sometimes the word community seems like a trendy emerging catchword, but last night, I realized that it has been one of the most important things in my life for a long time. I am really passionate about building and fostering community, and that is something I could spend the rest of my life doing. I realize this passion manifests itself in many forms, but I am just glad I’ve learned how to verbally express what it is I love doing.

Last night I came home and cried because I was so happy. Then I cried some more because I had forgotten what happy tears felt like. I cried again when I woke up this morning because I had forgotten what it was like to wake up feeling so happy. Thank you God for knowing what I need just when I need it. Thanks for answering my prayers and letting something really good happen here.

Thoughts from the Edge of Dreamland

So I am making myself write this even though I'm terribly sleepy and I'm getting up at 6:30 to go to Greek breakfast in the morning. I really don't have much to say, but for some strange reason, I feel I must write. So I'll just let you in on all my random thoughts.

• I really like this guy. I think there could be something great between us, but it seems he doesn't care to get to know me. So what's new?
• The other day one of my new friends said, "There are a lot of girls at Truett who I think are really cool, but I won't ask any of them out because I don't want to have sex with them." I had two reactions to this: 1. Thank God for an honest guy. 2. So it really is all about sex for a lot of guys. The guys who I have loved and given my heart to, enjoy being around me, but there's never been anything else because they don't want to have sex with me. Great.
• Wonder if new boy thinks I'm remotely attractive. In reality, he's probably not as physically attractive as boys from the past, but I really love so many things about him, I find him extremely attractive. Now, if we could only have a real conversation.
• I've become a tea drinker. On Atkins, decaf tea is one of the only things I can drink. I've got two sampler boxes with all kinds of tea. It's so much fun to pick which one I want to try.
• A really heavy conversation in worship class today. We talked about two groups that exist within Christianity in America. Too tired to relive that conversation now, but somebody remind me to tell you later. Really good stuff from Terry York.
• Sunday I'll be 25. On the downhill slope to 30. Ugh! It just sounds gross.
• Elizabeth Patten, one of my bff's from college got engaged. I was very happy for her. Her fiance Aaron is a little older. He's probably close to 32. Others have had their doubts, but I believed in them all along. Good for you Liz! Way to snag an older man!
• Must sleep. So much to do tomorrow. If you're my friend and you're reading this, know that I love you and that you make my life rich.

The 2004 Country Music Awards

Big night for Janalee! I sat here alone in my apartment and watched CMA's while doing my Greek homework. I don't know many people that like country music here in Waco. Surprising isn't it? There's one guy who loves it, and I would have loved to have him over for cheesecake and country music fun, but that probably would have been weird since I don't know him too well. Probably best that I was alone anyways because I got more emotional that I thought I would. Some of my favorite artist and songs were honored. For example:

That sexy Aussie Keith Urban beat out stiff competition like George Strait, Kenny Chesney, and Toby Keith for Best Male Vocalist. A relative newcomer to the country music scene, Urban was very humbled by the honor. He almost couldn't beleive it. The camera flashed to his mom, who was in tears. It was a sweet moment. He's been one of my favorites this year, so I was really pumped for him, even though he beat George Strait.  

"Whiskey Lullaby" which in my opinon was one of the greatest songs of the year. The Brad Paisley/ Allison Krauss duet was nominated for 4 awards, and took home "Best Muscial Event" as well as "Best Video". I was happy, but of course I routed it for in every catagorey. Tim McGraw's "Live like You Were Dying" edged them out for Best Song and Best Single. It's great song too, so I wasn't too sad.  

A Series of Small Vinettes from the Week

I feel so guilty over not bloggining in a whole week, but this is not supposed to be a guilt trap, so I will do my best to refrain. It seems that there's so much but yet so little going on in my life right now. So little, because I still don't have a job, and school work seems rather light between now and thanksgiving or maybe I just don't care anymore. I guess you could say there are a lot of little things though, and life is made up of a lot of little things, right?


1. Kelly and Josh were both gone this weekend. When I got back from fall break, they were both kind of dating people. It blindsided me. I was lost for about a week, and really quite pitiful. I just moped around the house listening to Patty Griffin and Sarah McLachlan. That's also when I started dieting because I knew I wouldn't eat out as much.

No, I guess that's not really a little thing. In some ways it's brought on profound changes to my life here in Waco.

2. I've lost about 10 pounds, which is pretty exciting. My two weeks of induction, the most strict phase of the diet where your body starts burning fat because it doesn't have all the carbs, is over. I could move on, but you lose weight more quickly on this phase. I am going to give it at least another week.

3. I had a really good weekend even though I did feel slightly abandoned. I guess I'm getting used to that. I've been hanging out with the first years who go to UBC, and I really like them. We watched In America on Friday night. It was so good. It was the film for our God in the movies series yesterday. Kyle talked about 1 Corinthians 11 & 12 and how it's against our nature to embrace our weaknesses, but we should swallow our pride like Paul and just do it. Very timely for me, as his talks always seem to be.

4. Saturday was really fun. I went shopping with a friend, then some folks came over to play scrabble and watch Big Fish. It may be my new favorite movie, but I'll have to blog more about that later. We listened to cultural music and drank hot tea while playing scrabble. I felt like such an adult for some reason. It seemed like such a mature night of fun that would bore someone who was younger or less mature. Then I though to myself, "This is probably what spintresses consider to be a riveting evening." Oh well, here's to all the spinstresses.

5. I spent most of yesterday afternoon working on an evite for the UBC/Truett get together we're having next Sunday evening. I'm really excited because I have something to focus my time and energy on this week, and if you know me you know how much I love to plan events!

Sorry this isn't too insightful, but I think insight maybe coming. Stay tuned...

Once a poor country girl like me, now a downhome superstar. She's my hero 

This is my friend Tori, who was none other than a Baylor Princess. Truett girls love making fun of them.  

Me and Candace before the Halloween Party. Enjoy This is a rare look at my dark side. 

Halloween for us Poor Country Girls

It doesn't seem like there is all that much that is really important going on with me right now, but I sure have been busy. Here's a short synopsis of all the happenings.

- I went to the Halloween party the other night as a dark angel. Kelly and I came up with that about 30 minutes before we left. My upstairs neighbor was a good angel, and we looked like good and evil twins. I had a better time at the party than I thought. It's the one time of year all of us Truett folks get to dance together.

- I am on book three of the four books I have a book report due tomorrow. That's the main thing that has eaten my time this weekend.

- I am officially poor. After I pay my rent I will have less than $17 in the bank. Still praying for a job. Maybe being poor will be good for me. I have never not had the money to do the little things I want to do. This weekend I won't be at the UBC retreat, which I would really love to go because I don't have the $40 I need to go. Tear, tear.

- It's Monday, and those are never my fun days because I usually never leave the house or see anyone. Right now I am watching a show on the travel channel that has taught me everything I ever wanted to know about Dollywood. I really do love Dolly Pardon. She seems like she could be your next door neighbor and best friend. She was poor too, but now she is the only celebrity I know of who has her own theme park. That's just freakin' cool. I think I will be her for Halloween next year.