New York, New York

I really don't know what to say about the past few days. We arrived on Thursday, and everything kind of a blur. The staff has been going nonstop. We're doing camp at Long Island University located in the heart of Brooklyn. It's probably the most urban part of the world my feet have ever stepped on. Huge culture shock recovering from Murphy, NC.

I would like to tell you about camp and the spiritual side of our ministry here, but instead I just thought I'd write about the city and all the random little things I've noticed. There are a million more logistics to camp in NYC than a camp in a normal town, so there's not much time for things like blogging. I'll try to hit some highlights, and after I've seen the students on their ministry sites a little more, we'll talk more about the ministry here.

* Central Park is the grandest place in all of NYC. Before, I thought of it as just a park, but after picnicking there with our staff, I really get it. Strawberry Fields is dead quiet with teary eyed hippies moping around, but it's very peaceful. I enjoyed it. We were sitting in sheep's meadow which is a huge grassy field where sports enthusiasts play Frisbee, children enjoy walking barefoot on grass, and lovers cuddle on blankets. It's a place to stop and simply be in a city that's always busy doing.

* The subway is an interesting place for me. As I was riding it on Friday, I was very aware of the people around me. They come from places and speak languages that I am completely clueless about. Everyone seems to be busy doing their own thing, and I wonder if anyone from New York ever stops to notice anyone else around them. I think about what life must be like for the people I see, and I pray for them. There doesn't seem to be much joy here. It's sad in many ways.

* On Friday, I took our site director, CC to the dentist in Manhattan. The poor thing has a horrible abscess in the middle of the busiest week of her life. We got separated on the subway, but I found her about 10 minutes later. Her dentist is named Dr. Goldstein, and his office is on 70th Street in a row of dental offices operated by Jewish dentists. I waited for her in the lobby while reading Girl Meets God. Laura Winner was Jewish and then she came to know Christ, and this book is about her struggles divorcing Judaism and embracing Christianity and her reflections about Christ. I felt very cultural reading about Jewish customs in a Jewish dental office. I also felt a little bold since it was ultimately a book authored by a Christian. It was strange yet cool.

* I love students and the ministry I get to be a part of this summer. I simply wish I had more time to slow down and read and write and experience the city and its people. I'm so exhausted that I struggle to wake up to my alarm. That's unlike me. I only get this tired at camp. I'm about to fall asleep sitting here, but I'm not complaining. It's a good tired you get from serving the Lord and other people. Like Andy P. says, I want to run my race with vigor and fight my fight with strength.

Happiness and Weariness in Philly, PA

It's strange coming back to a place with so many happy memories and being so tired that you can barely enjoy it. That's the way I felt today when I drove onto the campus of Eastern University. I worked here in the summer of 2001, and it was one of the most amazing times of my life. It was the first time I ever left Mississippi for an extended period of time. I was stretched beyond what I bargained for. (Much like the summer of camp I'm in the middle of now.) Philly is a great city, and I'm excited about visiting the ministry sites in the morning. I would love to reminisce more about Philly Fuge 2001, but I'm simply spent. I feel I have no emotional, physical or spiritual energy. We've been on the road for two days straight, and needless to say there been no alone time for me and God. There are no excuses for that other than when I open my Bible or start to pray I fall asleep or someone interrupts. There is no convenient time for prayer or scriptures, but I desperately need and desire it. God grant energy to your servant. Let me lean on the power and love found in your arms. Help me seize moments to be with you to listen to you and to adore you. (Sorry no energy for punctuation. Yes if i have time to write this now, I should be using it to be with God instead. Thanks for the reminder.)

Lonely on the Road

One of my favorite seminary professors, Dr. Ruth Ann Foster says that "True loneliness is when nobody gets you." She says that Jesus could understand that better than anybody. The people I hold the most tightly too are those who really "get me". There is lots of security that comes in being around someone who knows all your wacky quirks and weaknesses and still wants to be with you. Sometimes I think this is the reason most of us want to get married so badly. You permanently have a person like that with you. You think you'll never be lonely again.

Until then, we hold onto those rare and special friendships that we have with those who truly know our hearts. I think that's why my friends and I don't like to go home. We don't feel like people back home really understand who we are anymore. It seems that as we grow older these close companions grow fewer and farther in between. Our lives and our relationships become less centralized. I think this is why single people are categorized as lonely.

There is hardly any centralization to my life this summer. We spend so much time going and going and doing and doing, there's not really anytime for just being. I've loved doing camp for so long now, I've never realized what a hard life it is in so many ways. Stationary camps have more time to just hang out and get to know each other. With M-Fuge Merge it seems we're in such a rush to get to the next place, there's no time to relax and get to know each other. To add to the mix, new people join and leave our team every week. I love my team, but all time for relationships is spent on campers, and we haven't invested in each other. Add all these factors together, and yes I do feel lonely. We have a new director each week of camp, and luckily I'm friends with each one. We just began our week off. I'm looking forward to the rest, and I hope we'll really bond as a team. We are all very different, and I pray that great relationships will materialize soon.

I'm still tired even though I slept for many many hours. All this rambling probably seems random and disjointed. Sorry. Hopefully I'll be more brilliant with rest.

Much Love for Murphy, NC!

They call this area the blue ridge, and it's easy to see why. The tree covered mountains that surround this town glow with a hue of deep blue. The little town of Murphy lies in a valley, and so there is no cell phone service for Janalee. I really wish I could talk to you guys, but the chances of that actually happening at camp are slim to begin with.
Back to Murphy- I cannot tell you how beautiful I think it is. The mountain air is cool and fresh. Yesterday, we went white water rafting on the Nanahayla (that's not how you spell it, but that's how it sounds) river. The rapids weren't that rough and so it was slightly adventurous yet relaxing. It was nice to float down a river in the fog and just enjoy nature, even though the water that campers would splash on me with their paddles was 43 degrees. I did not completely warm up until I got in the bed.

In spite of my exhaustion, which seems overwhelming right now, I am loving this week of camp. There are a lot of good old country kids here, and we are able to relate really well. The adults are great, and they are so encouraging. Bible study has been lots of fun, and it even seems like people are enjoying it. On Monday we will begin our journey to NYC. I'm looking forward to a little R & R between now and then.