Living the questions and trying to think theologically... and practically. Learning that these things are more synonymous than I once thought.

Location: Dallas, TX

Monday, November 29, 2004

Growing Up and Growing Older

Going home is so refreshing. The older I get the more I appreciate a) escaping from the reality of everyday life and b) spending time with my family in my home. I look back over the past few years of early adulthood and think of how much of life has changed. Some things that seemed like mainstays in my childhood are now gone- primarily my dad, the ramblings of my grandfather who was a Baptist preacher, and the thought that home and family would always be the same no matter how much time passed.

I had a sad sort of realization when I went home. The world of my childhood is slipping away. My grandparents are all in their late 80's, and when they are gone my family will never be the same again. I won't be able to run next door to Maw Maw's house for a coke and hot biscuits or the words of affirmation from the sweetest little lady you would ever meet. Christmas Eves at her house with the whole Shadburn clan gathered together will be a thing of the past and who knows when the family will all be together again. My aunt and uncle, both who are in failing health, are moving across the county to be closer to their son and his business. The Shadburn clan has always been more primitive than my mom's side of the family. The Bristers live all across the country, and we haven't been in the same room with each other since I was 11. The Shadburn's love being together because we live clumped together for the most part.

I'm growing up, and the spry adults of my childhood are growing older. My family seems to be growing larger and smaller at the same time. Many of the people, homes, and traditions of my early years are now in their twilight years, and that's all a little scary and sad. But the exciting part is knowing that I'll have my own family one day and the cycle will repeat itself all over again. Life can be so sad and beautiful all at the same time.


Blogger D.R. said...


I just now got a chance to read some of your blog and it is great. I am glad to hear about your church and your trip home. Keep up with it. I have found it to be difficult, but theraputic and you never know who might be getting encouraged by it. In response to you blog on Eloquence, I wouldn't worry too much about that. Most people identify with someone like you (an unlikely Cracker Barrel Junkie) than they do with someone like say Al Mohler who may not know what Cracker Barrel is. It's all about relevance and relationships, not lofty words. Your blog is great and I will be sure to bookmark it.


4:36 PM  

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