Living the questions and trying to think theologically... and practically. Learning that these things are more synonymous than I once thought.

Location: Dallas, TX

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Lonely on the Road

One of my favorite seminary professors, Dr. Ruth Ann Foster says that "True loneliness is when nobody gets you." She says that Jesus could understand that better than anybody. The people I hold the most tightly too are those who really "get me". There is lots of security that comes in being around someone who knows all your wacky quirks and weaknesses and still wants to be with you. Sometimes I think this is the reason most of us want to get married so badly. You permanently have a person like that with you. You think you'll never be lonely again.

Until then, we hold onto those rare and special friendships that we have with those who truly know our hearts. I think that's why my friends and I don't like to go home. We don't feel like people back home really understand who we are anymore. It seems that as we grow older these close companions grow fewer and farther in between. Our lives and our relationships become less centralized. I think this is why single people are categorized as lonely.

There is hardly any centralization to my life this summer. We spend so much time going and going and doing and doing, there's not really anytime for just being. I've loved doing camp for so long now, I've never realized what a hard life it is in so many ways. Stationary camps have more time to just hang out and get to know each other. With M-Fuge Merge it seems we're in such a rush to get to the next place, there's no time to relax and get to know each other. To add to the mix, new people join and leave our team every week. I love my team, but all time for relationships is spent on campers, and we haven't invested in each other. Add all these factors together, and yes I do feel lonely. We have a new director each week of camp, and luckily I'm friends with each one. We just began our week off. I'm looking forward to the rest, and I hope we'll really bond as a team. We are all very different, and I pray that great relationships will materialize soon.

I'm still tired even though I slept for many many hours. All this rambling probably seems random and disjointed. Sorry. Hopefully I'll be more brilliant with rest.


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