Living the questions and trying to think theologically... and practically. Learning that these things are more synonymous than I once thought.

Location: Dallas, TX

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Donald Miller, My Celeb Crush...Kind of

So I just re-read what I wrote last night. Dang, I'm weird. How did y'all ever let me get this crazy? I just wrote a story about how I concieved my third child with a man whom I have never met. He is one hell of a writer though. Have I told you about how much you desperately need to read Blue Like Jazz? Well, you do, and then you need to read his brand new book Searching for God Knows What. I've read a little of it, and it made me laugh and cry. He's just such an honest writer. He says things that you think in ways you could never dream of articulating to anyone. I'm glad he is sharing that gift with the rest of us.

Now, I'm not one for celebrity crushes. Not really. Sure, I think people like Johnny Dep and Matthew Machonogey are beautiful, but... you know, six of one half a dozen of the other. They're like dreams. Donald Miller is real. After I read Blue Like Jazz, I imagined him as a tall, skinny, with glasses that made him just nerdy enough to be cute. I've liked my fair share of tall skinny boys in the past. There's nothing wrong with them, I just feel like the zero in the number ten when I'm with them. I was hoping for something different. Then I thought to myself, "Nah, there's no way he could be remotely attractive." In order to put those questions behind me, I went on line to find his picture. Low and behold, he's not what you would call gorgeous but his chubby little cheeks combined with the way he can write a loved poem sealed the deal for me. From what I could tell, he's kind of short and stocky, and you know what? That is something I can relate to.

Other things that might make us a great match? I am glad you asked. Here they are.

- He used to have this thing for a Southern girl who was also a writer. That means we know that accents don't bother him. Score!
- His new book is currently ranked #381 on Amazon. One day I would just like to have any book on Amazon.
- He grew up in Texas. I now live in Texas.
- He's not afraid to meet new people. Neither am I.
-He currently resides in Portland, OR. I am willing to relocate anywhere. The west coast has always sounded nice.
- We both really want to be in love.
- I love guys that can write. With him, I'd have a never ending supply of love letters.
- If he ever read anything like the excerpt from his play Polaroids, to me,I would have no choice but to marry him. For I would not be able to keep my hands off of him.

Here's a little sample of what I mean. Girls, eat your heart out.

I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer.
I will love you, as sure as he has loved me. I will discover what I can discover
and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of
you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God
has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may
bring me.

I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I
will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love,
gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and
tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time
before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.

God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will
learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that
drew Him, unto us.

Wow! Reading that reminds me that he's probably way out of my league. But can you imagine what kind of wedding vows he could write? But seriously, don't we all long for someone who can read the deepest longings of our heart. The things that we don't even realize are there. I'm sure a lot of other people feel the same way about this extraordinary man. Maybe it's just because he's so in touch with the things in his heart that really matter. Unlike the rest of us, he doesn't write off those needs and longings off as unimportant. I wish I was more like that.

So here's to you, Don. We may never meet, and I am probably just as likely to marry you as I am to wind up with Ben Affleck, but nevertheless, I think God has already used you to make me a better person.


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