Living the questions and trying to think theologically... and practically. Learning that these things are more synonymous than I once thought.

Location: Dallas, TX

Monday, November 07, 2005

Going Forward

So today was a more normal day than I have had in awhile. Next week is Operation Christmas Child Collection week, and I am so far behind that it may flop and it will be no one's fault but my own. Apart from almost having an anxiety attack, it was good to be busy. I got frustrated at one point. I was just thinking about everything, and wishing that we could all feel better. I don't want to forget about Kyle in anyway. My obsessive posting should give evidence of this. However, I just wish things weren't so hard for all of us. Grieving yourself is hard enough, but grieving with your whole community I think is harder still. Yes, it's good to have each other, but you don't only hurt for yourself, but you hurt for everyone around you. When I lost my dad, I had plenty of folks from my church there to comfort me. Now my whole church needs to be comforted and my family is so far away but still comforting me to the best of their ability.

I had a few really good moments tonight. I've wanted to be about this business of living life to the fullest, and I guess that as we've experienced this tragedy with friends and as we've grieved together, we've been doing that even in the midst of such awful circumstances. Tonight, however, I felt like I had a moment away from it all. I bought strawberries and dipping chocolate for supper. Kelly and I sat around our coffee table in gourmet heaven, sipping some really incredible chardonnay. She purposely got some chocolate on her nose and I laughed until I almost puked. Haha. I savored those few moments, and I thought to myself that this is exactly what Kyle was talking about. Maybe this business of enjoying life again will commence sooner than I expected.

Aaaah....if only Kelly would have been a cute boy.


Blogger John said...

It must be hard to try to live out the last words of Kyle while you're community is questioning and grieving. As you move forward and help your church and friends learn to trust God again know that people all over the country are continuing to pray for you.

2:33 PM  

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